it had to be you
by sitvha
Summary: Five times Warren reached for Nathan's heartbeat and one time Nathan reached for his.


_note: i have a problem with grahamscott and heartbeats for some reason. these aren't in chronological order, some are earlier in their relationship and others are after they've been luvin for a while. and i definitely stole an elvis lyric i needed it thanks elvis._

* * *

1

.

They were watching TV on their couch when Nathan got a call. It seemed serious because Nathan quickly stood up and walked to their room, closing the door behind him. That was never a good sign.

Warren waited for ten minutes, worry eating up at him the entire time, before he got up and quietly knocked on the door. When he received no answer, he slowly opened it. "Nathan?"

The room was shrouded in darkness except for the small amount of light streaming through the window, but he could see him. He was sitting on the floor with his knees up, staring at the wall with a blank expression that scared Warren like nothing else.

He walked over and sat down close in front of him, holding his face so he could get rid of that unseeing look in his eyes.

He waited until Nathan finally blinked at him in acknowledgement before he let out a small sigh of relief. "Nathan?" he tried asking again.

His eyes turned hard and cold and Warren could feel his jaw tightening against his hands.

"My dad died."

Warren stared at him with wide eyes, not believing what he just heard.

He had never liked Mr. Prescott. He never approved of his and their relationship and basically disowned Nathan when he found out; but the thing he hated most was the fact that he was never a good father to Nathan, only using and manipulating him with his position as "father" to get what he wanted. He never cared about Nathan. He didn't give a shit about his happiness, he just wanted someone to control, and his son who only ever wanted to make him proud was the perfect target.

The bastard was dead, and here was his son in front of Warren, looking completely empty because of it.

"Nath-"

"It was some car accident. He was probably driving too fast, thinking he owned everyone's ass on the road, not giving a fuck about anyone but himself. Well that definitely backfired on him." He let out a grim, humorless laugh, and a deep breath followed. "You know, the last good thing that piece of shit ever did for me was take me to a baseball game when I was 10 years old." He was looking down, not meeting Warren's eyes. "I never even gave a fuck about baseball, I was just so happy that my dad wanted to do something fun with me..."

Warren brought their faces close together so their foreheads were touching, wanting to comfort him and say anything to make him feel better, but he also knew Nathan, and he still wasn't looking at him.

"Can you look at me, Nathan?"

"No. I don't want to see the pity on your face. Not on your face..."

"You know I've never pitied you, that's not what this is. I just need you to be ok."

"I am. I'm fucking fine. That asshole ruined my life. I'm glad he's gone, he deserved it. He fucking deserved worse."

Nathan was starting to lose his grip on his emotions and Warren could feel it. He felt the shivers under Nathan's skin and saw his eyes widening, looking like a lost child in Warren's hands.

"After everything he fucking said and did to me, and all the shit he threw at you, I hope he fucking rots in hell. He didn't know how to care about people or love them, but I do. _I do_. I do..." Nathan said, his voice growing weaker and weaker with each word.

"You're right, Nathan, you do."

Nathan finally looked at him then, and Warren couldn't take the utter despair and agony in his glassy eyes. They were pools of blue that held a lifetime of pain and he looked so fragile, nothing like the Nathan Prescott who strutted down the halls of Blackwell so long ago. Nathan once told him that he was always saving him, but Warren found that hard to believe, especially now when he felt so fucking useless.

"I hate him, Warren... I hate him so much..." He sounded so small and Warren wanted to hide him from the world, to find a place where nothing and no one would ever hurt him. "I fucking -"

He was cut off by a choked sob and this was what Warren was bracing himself for, the inevitable breaking point. He turned around to sit between Nathan's legs and press his back against his chest, where he could feel the steady _thump thump_ that traveled to his own heart. Warren reached for the hands at Nathan's sides and held them, kissing each of his fingers as Nathan cried against his shoulder.

"He didn't give a fuck about me... why do I care... why do I care so much?" He sobbed harder into Warren's shoulder, releasing their hands and holding his body as tight as possible.

Warren could only put his hands on Nathan's arms and give small kisses to the side of his face. He didn't speak words, Nathan wouldn't want that yet. So he stayed in his arms until Nathan cried himself to sleep on Warren's shoulder, then he carried him to their bed, lying down next to him and brushing away the stray hairs on Nathan's forehead.

His eyebrows were scrunched together and he looked like he was suffering. Warren hated that. He always looked so vulnerable and peaceful when he was sleeping. Warren loved the few moments in the mornings when he could stare at him and smile, but that wasn't the case this time. Nathan was a mess, and Warren would get him through it. They always got through it.

Warren kissed the space between his eyes and saw how Nathan's face slightly relaxed. He brought him close, holding Nathan's head against his chest because he belonged there.

"You care because you're you," he whispered to the darkness.

 _I love you because you're you._

 _/ / /_

2

.

They'd been cooped up in their apartment for a while, too exhausted after coming home from work to do anything but watch movies and sleep. They both loved doing that stuff, but they needed to do something else before they pulled each other's hair from the roots. Which they also both loved doing but that was besides the point.

They decided they would go out this weekend to see a movie at an actual theater. There was a small local one that was having a silent film weekend and Warren almost cried when Nathan told him about it.

And that's where they were now, sitting alone in the theater, waiting for the movie to start.

"So where do you want to go when it's over?" Nathan said, holding Warren's hand on their shared armrest.

"Doesn't matter. There's this new pizza place that we could try. Then we could go for a walk in the park or something. It's supposed to be a clear night, we can see all the stars!"

Nathan rolled his eyes fondly before kissing Warren's cheek. "Sounds good, idiot."

Warren grabbed Nathan's chin to press his lips against his, slowly deepening the kiss until Nathan pulled away.

"I have to take a shit."

"Wow."

"Well I'm so sorry that my stomach hurts! I'll be right back!"

Warren gave an over exaggerated and dramatic sigh as Nathan gave him a quick peck on the cheek before standing up.

"Fine, but get me a chocolate bar while you're out there," Warren called out to Nathan's back that was moving towards the exit.

Nathan waved his hand in acknowledgement before he disappeared through the door. Warren lifted his feet to rest his legs on the back of the seat in front of him. Great. Who knew how long it would take before he'd finish. Peeing in a bottle wasn't exactly an uncommon thought for Warren because of how long Nathan took in their bathroom at home sometimes.

Warren's musings were interrupted by tapping on his knee.

"Hey, is this seat taken?"

He looked up to see a guy that seemed about his age, maybe a little older, with a smirk on his face.

Warren made a point to look around all of the empty seats in the theater. "Dude, there's like a million other free seats to choose from."

The guy looked slightly frustrated and sat down next to Warren anyways. "I wanted this one. My name is Brett, by the way," he responded, sticking out his hand in greeting. Warren shook it briefly without much thought.

He didn't really care who this guy named Brett was, but he also didn't want to be mean. "Warren," he said, barely looking at him.

"So, Warren, you like old movies?"

He wanted him to stop talking to him, but he also could never pass on the opportunity to nerd out over the things he loved.

"Yeah definitely! There are a lot of cool movies now, don't get me wrong, but there's something about old movies that feel... different, you know?"

Warren was looking off at the commercials playing on the movie screen, so when he looked back at Brett, he was surprised to see how close he had gotten. He tried to lean away from him, but froze when Brett put his hand on his arm. His fingers were playing with Warren's sleeve and he _really_ wanted this guy to go away now.

"You're really cute. You here alone?"

Warren pulled his arm away and looked at the guy head-on. "No, I'm not. You should sit somewhere else."

"Then why don't I see anyone around?" Brett said with a gross smile as he reached for Warren's shoulder.

Before Warren could block his hand from touching him, Brett's arm was firmly grabbed by another hand.

"You heard him. Back the fuck off."

Warren had to bite back the grin on his face. He would never admit it, but he loved when Nathan got jealous. As long as no one got injured, he loved it.

"Who the hell are you?" Brett said as he stood up to be eye level with Nathan.

"I'm his boyfriend, and you're bothering him, so get the fuck out of here."

Brett looked back and forth between the two of them. "Tch. Whatever, he's nothing special anyways," he said as he pushed past Nathan towards the exit.

"What the fuck did you just -"

Warren quickly got up and grabbed Nathan's arm before he could do anything. "Nathan! It's fine. He was just some asshole."

He was gone now, but Nathan looked like he wanted nothing more than to run out and make Brett's face very well acquainted with his fist.

Nathan's expression visibly softened as he stared back at Warren and put a hand on his arm. "Are you ok?"

Warren smiled and brought his arms around Nathan, holding him so close that he felt their hearts drumming against each other.

"Of course, now that my knight in shining armor is here."

Warren could feel Nathan's face heat up against his cheek as he lifted his arms to wrap around Warren. "Shut up."

He slightly pulled away from him, keeping his arms around Nathan's neck, to look at him questioningly. "Did you get what I asked for?"

Nathan let out a sigh before he reached in his pocket to pull out the chocolate bar. Warren let out a small shriek of delight before giving a lingering kiss to Nathan's forehead.

Warren held him close again, closing his eyes as he brought his smiling lips close to Nathan's ear. "You're definitely the one for me."

/ / /

3

.

"What even possessed you to buy that."

Nathan was of course referring to the toy stethoscope in Warren's hands.

They were lying down and relaxing on their bed when Warren got up to show Nathan what he got that day. Needless to say, he was not impressed.

But Warren was going to make sure he would be.

"Are you kidding? This is the greatest thing I've ever seen!"

"It's pink."

"What's wrong with pink, dude?"

Nathan looked so tired with his shit and it took everything for Warren not to laugh out loud.

"Fine. It's dumb, but fine."

"Aww come on babe, don't be like that," Warren replied as he crawled back onto the bed towards Nathan. He kissed his cheek and down his neck, distracting Nathan from the fact that Warren put the headset of the stethoscope in his ears and the chestpiece over Nathan's heart.

"You thought - ahh - that that would really work?" Nathan's small gasp when Warren found a particularly sensitive spot provided a lot of evidence in Warren's favor.

He softly hummed in response against Nathan's neck as he brought his fingers to run through Warren's hair. Warren couldn't hear Nathan's heartbeat in his ears, considering that he was using a toy, but he knew it was there and that's all he cared about.

Well, there was another thing too. At least in that moment.

He stopped mouthing at Nathan's neck to give him a knowing smirk that Warren knew immediately put Nathan on edge.

"But you know, Nathan, I didn't actually buy the stethoscope."

"Cool, you stole it. Really hardcore, Warren."

His mischievous smile only grew further. "Nope, I didn't do that either."

Warren was really enjoying the nervous look on Nathan's face.

Nathan sat up a little to lean on his elbows, face growing even more anxious in anticipation. "...You're killing me here."

Warren saw his chance and he took it, readying himself for the beautiful consequences of his actions. "Oh if you don't feel good then let me change into the nurse outfit I bought today. It _is_ a little tight and the lace is uncomfortable, but the really cool stethoscope came with it so I -"

Warren was cut off as Nathan turned them both over, causing a giggling Warren to lay on his back with Nathan hovering above him and looking way more eager than anyone should.

"I _definitely_ don't feel good."

He looked at Nathan with half-lidded eyes and playful smirk, holding back a small laugh at what he was about to say as he slowly wrapped his arms around him and brought his face closer.

"Tell me where it hurts."

/ / /

4

.

They were watching a movie in Nathan's room, leaning against each other and holding hands under the covers, when they heard knocking on the door.

"Hey Nathan! Greg's parents are out of town and he's throwing a party at their place, are you coming or what?"

Warren instantly tensed and hoped Nathan didn't notice. He was worried that he would leave to be with his friends instead of him, but he also didn't want to hold him back and seem needy when he really just wanted to spend time with him. And Nathan was so damn comfortable. And warm. And his thumb was rubbing circles on Warren's hand. Shit, he wouldn't let him leave.

But he didn't have to worry.

With no hesitation Nathan responded, "I'm busy, fuck off."

Warren tried so hard to hide his smile but Nathan saw it and gave him his own smile in return.

"Come on, what could you possibly be doing that's better than a party at a mansion?" the voice called back through the door.

Warren could feel Nathan getting more irritated, but he hadn't expected the next words to come out of his mouth.

"Watching a movie with my boyfriend! Leave me the fuck alone!"

Warren just stared at Nathan's profile as he turned back to watch the movie, blatantly trying to ignore the teasing cheers outside his door as well as the fact that he was blushing to the tips of his ears.

Once the cheers died away, Warren was still looking at Nathan who really did not want to look back.

"...You know... you didn't have to say that if you didn't want to..." Warren said, breaking the silence and trying to get Nathan to turn around.

It worked. He moved his head to look at Warren and he had a very serious and determined look on his face that made Warren want to kiss him.

"I did want to."

This time it was Warren's turn to blush, hiding his face in Nathan's neck, knowing that he would feel his smile there.

They held each other like that for a while, arms wrapped around each other and Warren's head resting on Nathan's chest. He could feel his heart thumping against his ear, counting the beats to see if they matched with his own.

As Warren started to fall asleep, he felt gentle fingers massaging his scalp and lips press against the top of his forehead, and a soft voice whispering, "I always want to."

/ / /

5

.

Nathan was running late. They made plans to go the late night drive-in to watch a movie and also... _not_ watch a movie in the privacy of Warren's car.

But it was going to start soon and Nathan still hadn't come down from his room. His dad called right when they were about to go, so Warren told him he'd wait for him by his car, wanting to give him some privacy.

"Hey, you're Warren Graham, right?"

Warren looked up to see some guy walking over to him.

"Yeah... Who are you?" The guy seemed nice enough, but if Warren learned anything from his time so far at Blackwell, it was that first impressions were almost never the right one.

"Doesn't matter. I just want to make sure I had the right guy."

Warren was getting a very bad feeling about him. "Wh-what do you mean?"

The guy stepped even closer to him so that only a few inches separated them, and Warren tried to back away as far as possible.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing with Prescott?"

Now Warren knew what this guy's problem was, and he wasn't going to accept any of it.

"I don't think that's any of your business," he said through gritted teeth and with clenched fists, bringing his face forward so the other guy would have to move.

"I don't give a fuck, that guy drugged girls and got away with it, and you're rewarding him by being his daily fuck? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Warren's whole body was on fire. He was _fuming_. Who the hell did this guy think he was? Harassing Warren about Nathan when he didn't know shit about what happened or who Nathan was.

Warren knew, it took him a while to get there after their less-than-ideal start, but he made an effort after seeing Nathan at an especially vulnerable moment in the hall, and everything changed after that. He gave him a chance and he wished he gave him one sooner, but they both understood why he didn't. They both did things they regret... and who the fuck was this random asshole judging Nathan and their relationship when he didn't know a fucking thing.

He stepped forward, causing the guy to step back but he didn't look nervous at all, he only straightened himself further to seem more intimidating.

"Don't say shit about him, especially not around me."

"I'll say whatever I want about him, _especially_ to his little fuck toy."

The guy was pushing him and Warren knew it, but his hands were still shaking and the guy was asking to get punched in the face.

"Shut up."

The guy pushed him and the back of his legs hit the hood of his car. He balled his fist in Warren's shirt and he tried to push him off but the guy wouldn't let go.

"I'm not gonna fucking shut up. Not when that rich, disgusting fucker is walking free. He should have done everyone a favor and shot himself in the head with that -"

And that was when Warren snapped.

The adrenaline pumped through his body as he pushed him off and onto the ground, bending down above him, raising his arm and punching the guy's face. Over and over and over and...

 _His knuckles hurt but he kept hitting him, lifting his fist high to make the hardest impact possible. Blood was pouring out of his mouth and nose and eyes but he kept going._

 _"Get off... me... please! Please, stop! I'm sorry..."_

 _He kept going..._

Warren stopped hitting him after the memory made him choke on air, freezing him in place as he stared at his hand with wide eyes. He couldn't do this again... not again...

The guy took advantage of Warren's hesitation and he ended up on his back with the guy now taking his turn at his face.

His face felt like it was in pieces but he was still shaken by the memory that he wanted so badly to forget. He knew he wouldn't though, Nathan deserved more than that. Neither of them would forget the past, but they reached an understanding with each other and were moving forward... But his actions vividly brought back the memories of what he did and they were clawing at his throat and under his skin and he felt the pain of the memories more than he felt the punches.

Warren couldn't bring himself to fight back, but the guy seemed to grow bored of him because of it. He stood up and gave one final kick to Warren's stomach, spitting out, "You really are just his little bitch," before walking away.

He sat up and leaned his back against his car's front bumper, wiping some of the blood off his face with his sleeve, still trembling with rage and despair. He looked at his hands again, bloody and bruised like they were that day and he felt like crawling inside his car and never leaving but he couldn't move. He could still hear Nathan's pleads for him to stop hurting him, but he didn't stop... he didn't fucking stop, why didn't he fucking _stop_.

After a few minutes, he heard someone calling his name frantically and footsteps rushing over to him. He looked up to be greeted by Nathan's worried blue eyes and hands hovering over his cheeks, like he didn't want to hurt him, as he kneeled in front of Warren.

"Warren? What the fuck happened? Who did this to you?" Nathan was so mad and so worried and Warren loved him.

He held both of Nathan's hands in his own and looked into eyes that were full of so many things and no one ever took the fucking time to really _look_.

"Please, Nathan... don't ever listen to them... please..."

"Who said what to you, Warren, I swear to God I'm going to find them."

Warren didn't want Nathan to find them. He didn't want him to hear the awful things that he heard. He wanted Nathan to keep being himself and to keep being better, because he was better and Warren saw it every day and _god_ he loved him.

His eyes started to well up with tears and he lifted one of the hands holding Nathan's to place it over his heart. Warren knew his heart, he knew its beat and savored the familiar feeling against his hand. People were always trying to tell him that Nathan was a monster, but how could they know shit if they didn't feel how warm Nathan was whenever he first woke up, or see his small sad smile whenever he saw kids playing with their dads at the park, or hear his laugh whenever Warren tripped while trying to get his pants on and Nathan would have to end up helping. He knew his heart... he needed it to keep beating.

Warren's face crumpled as the tears spilled over, the hand on Nathan's chest curling to grab tightly at his shirt. "I'm sorry, Nathan... I'm so sorry..."

Warren buried his face in Nathan's neck, not wanting him to see him when he was so disgusted with himself.

Nathan brought a shaky hand to pet Warren's hair, voice nervous as he responded, "Stop, Warren, you're scaring me..."

"I scare myself... I did that to you... how could I do that to you?"

Warren physically felt it when Nathan finally understood what he meant, and he grabbed Warren's shoulders to pull him off gently to look into his eyes.

"Warren, stop it. We already talked about this. I was a fucking asshole, I deserved it. I deserved all of -"

"No! No, you didn't!" Warren shook his head after cutting him off, not wanting to hear him talk like that. "I shouldn't have done that... no matter what you did I shouldn't have done that. I'm no better than the bastard that hurt me tonight and said... those things..."

He saw Nathan's jaw clench at the mention of the guy who beat him up. "Before we talk about that piece of shit that I'm going to castrate for hurting you and putting shit in your head, you need to know that I don't blame you, alright? Plus, you... you've made everything better. I thought we got past this man, we both hurt each other, it wasn't just you. I wish I never did that shit to you either... I _really_ wish I didn't... I wish I didn't do a lot of things. We can't just... dwell on this shit though. We have to know we did it and keep going. Even when it's eating away at you, all of it fucking eats at me every day but... I have to try... because we have a great thing, Warren; the best thing. I want us to keep it."

Warren stared up at him. Nathan's face was illuminated by the moonlight and a streetlight and he looked like an angel. He felt a small smile grow on his lips and nodded as he pushed Nathan's little stray hair away from his forehead. Sometimes, he was way too smart for his own good.

"When did you start making so much sense, Prescott?"

Nathan breathed a sigh of relief that Warren didn't even notice he was holding. "I may have been influenced by someone. Really cute, brown hair and even darker eyes, always wears two shirts for god knows what reason, loves movies, and makes the most amazing sound when I -"

"Ok! Ok, Nathan! Yes, yup, yeah. Got it." He was blushing so hard, but it was probably barely noticeable under all the blood and bruises.

Nathan smiled triumphantly before standing and offering his hand to help Warren stand. "Come on, let's clean you up. I want to see that blush more clearly."

Warren reached for his hand and stood up fairly easily with his help. He didn't let go of Nathan's hand as they walked out of the parking lot. He loved how tightly Nathan was holding his hand and leaning against him for no reason at all. He hoped he stayed there forever.

/ / /

+1

.

Warren felt arms wrapped around his waist and a warm chest pressed against his back when he first opened his eyes. He felt a breath against his neck and smiled, wanting to turn around and see Nathan's sleepy face that he loved so much.

He didn't though, because he felt Nathan kiss his shoulder and he wanted to let Nathan have his moment to think about whatever he had to think about.

Nathan brought his face to Warren's hair, inhaling before planting another soft kiss there. He felt a gentle hand move across his chest to his heart, softly pressing against the spot.

After a few minutes, he used the tip of his nose to push away some of the hair by Warren's ear. He hesitantly brought his lips down to Warren's ear and spoke in a whisper.

"I love you."

Warren's whole world stopped. He hated to take this moment of supposed privacy from Nathan, but his heart was bursting and if Nathan didn't feel it against his hand then he'd let him know.

He held the hand that was over his heart and squeezed it. He could feel Nathan slightly tense at being discovered, since he probably didn't want to be if he said it while he thought Warren was asleep, but he couldn't just stay quiet after that.

They'd never said that to each other before. He definitely knew his own feelings, but he was afraid to say them out loud. He had hoped that Nathan felt like that too... and he did... he said it.

He turned his head around to look at Nathan's eyes. He looked so scared, and Warren never wanted him to be. He kissed his lips deeply, to reassure him that he had nothing to be scared of.

He turned around completely so he was facing Nathan. He lifted his hand to softly run his fingers through his hair, and Nathan leaned into the touch with his eyes never leaving Warren's.

"I love you too."

Warren wished he'd said it sooner. He didn't know he'd been missing out on the way Nathan looked at him, like he was all he needed until the end of the world.


End file.
